Blog #1: What’s up?

My first blog of the year and it’s almost February. So let’s go back and see what has been up.

Firstly, I felt competitive and pompous enough last January 1 that I pledged 150 books for my reading challenge this year. No surprise I am 6 books behind. Haha. I’m gonna amend that though but maybe next week, next month, or whenever my reading slump finally leaves me because it’s been 2 months and I still can’t get the hang back into reading.

Secondly, I went to Palawan last week. El Nido is such a breathtaking place that my phone felt the need to dive into the ocean together with us. It ain’t in a bikini but who’s stopping? Honestly, it dampened my mood a notch or two. I mean, it’s a phone and what am I gonna use to take photos now? There’s nothing I could brag to friends anymore! Lol. Kidding. I love going through photos from my previous travels and those make me happy and now I have almost nothing to take out from my El Nido experience except of course, the actual experience – dinner by the beach, lunch cooked on an island far, far away from the downtown area, the uber clear waters, the snorkeling, and most specially, the people, which when I think back to all of this, isn’t really so bad. Hot men roam around the area day in day out, it was fantastic. Haha, kidding. The locals in El Nido are the real treasure – extremely nice, and have a unique, funny sense of humor.

After I came back to Manila 4 days later, I went straight to the nearest PowerMac and tried to ask for help regarding my phone. I wasn’t holding any hope as I have been advised from the previous PowerMac I went to (I went to 2) that most probably, they’re going to change the whole unit and I will pay 22,000 pesos. Just great, right? But thank heavens, the girl on the counter ‘hard reset-ed’ my handset and it was poof! charging! Man, why did I never thought about it? Well, because you didn’t know shit about hard resetting your phone, stupid. So yeah, my phone’s back to working!!! I swore to the gods that this time, I’m going to take care of my phone more. Famous last words.

Last night, I was on a PUJ and the stupid me decided to pull my phone out from my bag because I can’t wait to download the La La Land playlist. The movie is promising but I still think it’s overrated. Sue me. So while I was searching for it on Spotify, a hand from outside the jeepney through the wide-spaced-barred window tried to pull my phone out of my grasp. Dude, that was freaking scary. Thank god I had a hard grip.

So for the second time, I almost lost my phone. Almost. But no one’s giving up. We’re gonna make it to the end! After all, we only have each other. Lol.

All of that aside, I also would like to talk about myself. The young me always cared what people said about me. I would feel useless, and I self-loath whenever I learn that some people actually hate me.

But the old, more sensible me is a whole new person. I give not one flying fuck anymore what people say about me. It’s just me, my friends, and this world full of wonders to travel to. Life is epic in its own and I like to spend it with good people, and good places.

The worthless people who thrive on hating on people could very well do it till they die of unrequited hate. I don’t care. I love life and I’ll treasure it by making worthy memories. :)

Identity Crisis: The Anj Version

When you have a burning passion towards a lot of things, it takes more than money to pacify your feisty self. I should know, I am currently in a position where my role in this society is a constant burning confusion in my head.

It’s been a year since I was first employed and sans the canards, and contretemps in the office, it was quite the good life I have never had. It was enough to satisfy my needs and various… indulgence but soul satisfaction is another thing.

I have my fair share of regrets. When I was reviewing for the board exam, I wasn’t exactly… reviewing. I was reading books, I watched sports, I always made it a point that I am sleepy whenever it’s time to read my notes. I was slacking. That’s me – always putting important things off until I don’t have any more enough time.

I knew I was going to pass the board exam. It wasn’t because of arrogance but I firmly believed what I was capable of. But that did not stop me from jumping up and down when I was finally the Registered Pharmacist I’ve been dreaming of for years. It didn’t matter what my passing rate was, I was an RPh regardless if I had a flat 75%. Then came out the breakdown of my passing rate and I have not felt so penitent my entire life. To be so close to the 10 topnotches yet to be so far away. If only I was levelheaded enough to allot the whole of 5 months into reviewing, I might have had the chance.

But I was my usual stupid, immature self. So I had to dodge the question every time I was asked. Was I a topnotcher? Zeus, no, I wasn’t. Because I was and am not that brilliant. I am not as smart as people think I am. Then add to that my lazyass, you have the perfect un-brilliant package.

At night when it is surrendered to the deafening silence, I always think about what I could be now if I had been better. I might have been offered better compensation, a better work, better chances and opportunities, better everything.

But being the firm believer of optimism and life’s grandiosity in the grand scheme of things, I still am twenty-two and going twenty-three in a month’s time. I still have a huge portion of my life ahead of me and I cling to the more sanguine supposition that all of my mistakes, the wrong decisions, and the juvenile-ness during my young life are my driving factors to my goal of being the best version of myself.

I wish that when I come back to this post, I have decided what I want to do in my life. It could be being a doctor, a lawyer, or I could pursue a very old penchant to when I was only a little child and be a teacher. Right now, I am leaning towards enrolling into Law school because Med School basically needs more time (all of your time, actually) and more money so I can’t exactly do that ’cause I need to retain my job while studying. I want to be able to tend to all of my needs because my parents have done their responsibilities to me and it’s high time I do mine.

If a divine being permits a different course, I will gladly entertain such opportunity. Until then, I will have to set my goals in accordance to the limits of my… repository.